"I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself."
Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis
I wish when I climbed into bed at night I had someone to think about
"Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience."
It’s weird. Now that all my friends have officially left New Zealand being home seems more real and my time there feels like it ended forever ago. I know that makes no sense, but that’s how I feel. And I miss it. A lot.
"Breathe. You’re going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived. Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass."
It was so good at first and somehow ended so badly.
vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist
"I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations."